I am staring at this blank screen and I am convinced that I have nothing remotely interesting to write about. Yet I feel obliged that I must fill a page with words because I can unload my burden onto whoever is reading. Today I threatened myself not to blog anymore because I spend too much time in front of the computer. I can opt to write all this shit down in a book, which I do from time to time but there is nothing like the sound of pressing keys on the keyboard. I also think faster than I write, although sometimes I end up pissing people off by not really thinking about what I write and too stubborn to hit that delete key. Why is that?
I started blogging on my last birthday and at the time I was stuck. I find that I am still stuck but in a different place. Joining the army does not seem like a bad idea at the moment. At least there is someone there to tell me what to do. I don't even think I can make the grade for the People's Liberation Army. Not good looking enough and I don't meet the height requirement.
These are the things I do know - I am a daughter, sister, aunt, friend, cousin, aquaintance, editor (for at least another couple of months). I like cheese and dogs. I have ideas of what I would like to do.
These are the things I don't know - How am I going to do it and where I want to be.
The latter has been keeping me awake lately. I have thought about going home (hmm maybe not yet) or going somewhere I've never been before. The thought of moving again is very appealing. People do keep moving. Some might see it as running away in an attempt to avoid reality. Well, I don't really care much for reality. I was flicking through a magazine over lunch and they had pictures of Finland. Why can't I live in Finland? Does it matter that I don't speak Finnish? Why is it always within the confines of that bloody square?
The life I am living now is debilitating to my health and mind.
I feel better. I'm going to look to see whether there are jobs in Helsinki.
8 comments:
Friend of mine at uni moved to Finland, came back stick thin (was plump before) and said it was due to the extreme winter cold which killed any urges to leave the house and get food. If someone from England living in Scotland couldn't handle it, I think your Aussie ass would freeze to death, I still remember wondering why you were wearing a jacket in flip-flop weather. Go somewhere warm, like Spain.
Hi Wilda
some people are very happy moving from city to city ... some family friends who are diplomats have done it for 40 yrs and have always been happy ... place is very important to me, although I'm the opposite to you and I like nostalgia and familiarity (as long as it is somewhere I have actually had good experiences not bad ones)
Wilda, you're always welcome in Bris Vegas.
I think you need a job that challenges you intellectually and creatively, or maybe just an intellectually challenging job that allows you to have a creative outlet on the side. Would you think of going back to legal publishing (maybe not the same employer)?
Maybe it's time to start your own business. I can tell you, that's one hell of a challenge.
Sorry I can't be a bit more helpful.
- Todger (aka Indy)
Fuz: I can handle cold more than I can hot.
jojo: You are always encouraging for which I am very grateful for. If my homemade uglydoll doesn't work out, Jr will have to make do with a purchased one.
Indy: I didn't know you were still reading. You surprise me at the best of times! I will not go back into legal publishing as I am in legal publishing now and it is giving me much grief. In relation to starting my own business - How did you know?
Move to Switzerland! so you can send me cheeeese!
Ah well if you can handle the cold, come to Bonny Scotland! You could see men in kilts...
Seriously though, you should move if you want to, but do your research and make sure you go somewhere really cool.. (although I am sure you would).
Good luck with it!
uglydoll - sweeeeeet!
I know you can work out what to do. My dream for you is still: Lonely Planet research/writer, travelling from city to city and having a great time - for work!
I have a plan. It involves marimekko. But that's all I want to say about it. I don't want to jinx it.
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