Ambassadors

This morning has I got off the MTR (HK's subway) to get to work I noticed new fixtures. These fixtures were in the form of plump middle-aged women wearing brightly coloured t-shirts. As I was walking towards the escalators I noticed in black bold letter printed vertically. I turned by head sideways and read "Escalator Safety Ambassador".

The first thing that crossed my mind was - Blog.
My second thought was - "What the fuck!"

Did people die from catching the escalator up to the concourse exits overnight to warrant these ambassadors? Furthermore, how are these portly middle-aged women going to save anyone from an unfortunate fall down these moving staircases? Do you detect a tinge of jealousy from my prose? Well, how come they get to be ambassadors and I get to be nothing?

If anything, the MTR should be spending money on "Anti-B.O. Ambassadors". I know I complain about body stench, stinks and emissions every Summer but in this heat how in God's name can you not wear deodourant? I find myself moving around the compartment more often than not in order to find an 'odour-free' zone. Anti-B.O. Ambassadors should be patrolling the cars on the subway armed with sprays and roll-ons. Members of the public like myself will willingly point out these offenders by shouting "I think we got one!" like Janine from Ghostbusters. At the moment I resort to my usual catsbumface and hold my breath for as long as I can.

What is it about the word ambassador that makes it sounds so good? This four-syllabaic word just has an air of importance about it. From now on I want to be known as "ambassador extraordinary and plenipotentiary". Australia's list of ambassadors.
I know. I still can't get over Amanda Vandstone's post to Italy.